Pink Cannons
by pinkluver93
Summary: School's gonna start soon, and Meatwad is finally allowed to go this year, giving Frylock and Shake the peace and quiet they need...but will it last? Hints of FxS slash, but not the mushy-wushy kind.


~BEGINNING CREDITS~

As usual, Frylock worked on his computer. It was close to September, so all he could see on his webpage were stories like 'Kids going back to school are faced with unwanted pregnancies', 'Scary Butt-monster keeping schoolchildren from going to sleep', 'New Jersey schools plan on replacing milk with 'veggie celery extract'',

And the list goes on..

Meatwad soon got bored of playing in his room, so he decided to sneak into Frylock's room. When he saw all of those weird words on the computer screen, he couldn't help but roll up to his father figure, choc-full of nosiness.

"What's all that mean?"

"Huh?" Frylock looked down to see the meatball there, then looked back at the screen. "Oh, it's..nothing really..I'm just doin' some more work."

Meatwad looked at the screen and saw a red schoolhouse with rainbow-colored children surrounding it, making him excited. "Ooh, look Frylock! That's a school!"

"Yeah, it sure is.."

"I love school!"

Frylock smiled a bit. "Well, glad to see someone likes it I mean-"

"Frylock, I wanna go, can I go? Please please please?"

Frylock was still excited about Meatwad enthusiasm about school that he hadn't heard that inquiry.

"I-it's so nice to hear you say that, most kids I knew HATED school and-wait..WHAT?"

"I wanna go to school like them rainbow kids!"

Frylock's eyes bugged a bit...then..he couldn't help but..giggle. Needless to say, Meatwad was a little shocked.

"What's so funny?"

"I-I just coulda swore I heard you say that..heheh, y-you wanted to go to school."

"I do! I really do!"

"Don't be stupid!" Frylock suddenly sounded a bit irritated. "You know you can't go to school!"

"What? But why not, boy? I gots identification!" He pulled out a bunch of crumbled up pieces of paper from his body. "And I got insurance papers too if they...you know, need to know my emergency address."

"You're not going to school Meatwad, and you never will!"

"That ain't FAIR!" Meatwad got angry and started tearing up. "You just think I can't do it cuz I'm a stupid meatball. You's just a stupid box of taters and I bet YOU could go!"

"Yeah well I-" Suddenly, he stopped. He went into thought.

_H-he's right, what am I thinking? Just cuz I have more smarts than him, that doesn't mean I'm better than he is! I ain't even a damn human and-_

"Yeah? Yeah what, boy? Yeah, I bet you can't argue with that. You ain't no better than any of us, man, sorry to tell ya."

"He's better than your meaty ass!" Shake yelled as he came into the room, glaring at Meatwad.

"What makes you think you can argue with him like that...and not get punished for it?"

"Shake.."

"I'm just sticking up for you!" Shake then smiled at his roommate. "It's a great start for my 'No bullying the outcasts' campaign."

Frylock happily sighed. "You-you're crazy, you know that?"

Shake smiled back. "That's my best quality, Fry-Fry."

Lately, the duo's relationship with each other was coming out a bit lately. Usually, they kept things exclusive when they were around Meatwad and Carl, but hell, what was there to hide?

Meatwad decided to speak up, not wanting to be left out.

"Shake, Frylock says I can't go to school."

"What're ya tellin' me for?" Shake said as he chuckled. "I ain't your daddy! I don't wanna hear your problems again or I'll beat you with a belt like they do in school!"

"What! No!" Meatwad cowered.

"Yeah, they still paddle kids in school for not doing their homework, you know! They don't care how dumb you are, they don't want any 'dog ate my homework' excuses!"

"B-but what if Boxy Brown tears my homework up in front of me and tells me to go flush my head down a toilet?"

"Don't be crazy, man! We don't have a toilet!" Shake evilly smiled. "You can just do that in the school toilets! And the big fat kids with dandruff can crap on your head while singing 'Cotton Eye Joe'!"

"Shake, enough of this!" Frylock finally said, wanting the madness to end as he noticed Meatwad's terrified countenance.

"I changed my mind, Frylock," Meatwad drearily said. "I don't wanna go to school no more."

"Meatwad, none of that happens at school anymore! Kids get in trouble if they try to bully other kids and-"

Meatwad had quietly left, leaving only him and his 'secret' lover.

He sighed and glared at him. "Thanks, Shake. That was REALLY helpful of you.."

"Ah, c'mon!" He casually laid on the bed. "You weren't gonna let him go anyway, were you? He'll get everyone sick and then the parents'll try to sue us! That's why he hasn't gone before!"

"He can't get anyone sick unless they try to eat him, and I only kept him out because of his mental capacity and his growing inferiority complex."

"Yep, and he hasn't changed!" Shake pointed out. "It's like the two of us are the only sane ones around here.."

Frylock bugged his eyes and jumped into thought.

_The two of us..._

"Well, okay, I'll admit for once, I'm not TOTALLY sane-"

_If he goes to school, Shake and I can..be alone for once. I can get him to give me fry-massages and he won't have to constantly chase Meatwad around with a bat. Not to mention we can finally put that old dryer to good use..._

Frylock blushed.

_Hell yeah, time for school shopping, damnit!_

"But all I'm saying is just don't spread it around out town, I only want the government to know I'm crazy so they can still send us checks in hopes that I'll 'get better'."

"Shake, Meatwad's going to school."

"What? After that whole rant a minute ago, you're letting him go?"

Frylock blushed and shifted his eyes around. "W-well, think about it, h-he'll be gone for the day, and we'll be here..."

"...And?"

Frylock slightly grinned. "You know...just us two...no one else..?"

Shake was blank for a second, then excitedly smiled. "Ohoho! I get you now! I've been wanting to watch the other _Scream _movies without listening to a whiny meatball in the background!"

Frylock was irritated now. "No! We can have time to ourselves to do nasty things!"

Shake now had a dirty smile on his face. "Oh yeah, I forgot! Heheh, you know, I've been thinking of some 'new things' we can try.."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah...we can do it underwater in Carl's pool for a while, then pretend like it's a jacuzzi and..you know, keep ourselves warm by massaging each other!"

Frylock grinned and shifted his eyes. "O-or we can try the dryer set on high.."

Shake's eyes bugged, then he smiled. "You naughty minx...you got a dirtier mind than I do!"

"Uh, not quite.."

"Yeah right! I hadn't even thought of that, that's like from a list of womens' sex fantasies! You been reading those Cosmo magazines again?"

Frylock blushed. "W-well, i-it was a good idea and-well, man when the f*** does school start?"

Soon enough, it was the morning of the first day of school and Frylock walked Meatwad to the bus stop, which was only a few steps away from the house. He was dragging a tie-dye backpack with him.

"You'll be okay, Meatwad, just remember everything I told you."

Meatwad thought for a second. "Oh, 'don't eat peoples' lunches outta the trash'? Or was it the one where I stay away from science classes?"

"Not those rules, the one where I told you to be yourself and avoid the bad crowds..and try to atleast learn something. It wouldn't hurt."

"As long as the teacher don't hurt my brain."

As Meatwad rubbed his head, the schoolbus arrived. Meatwad walked on, waving bye to his caretaker.

"Bye Frylock! Tell Shake not to miss me!"

Frylock smiled and called back. "Good luck, buddy! Have fun!"

As the bus left, Frylock felt like a kid who had the house to himself for the day...along with his boyfriend!

Frylock grinned and floated back to the house.

_Shake's gettin' his ass up, cuz I'm ready to party!_

Later that afternoon, all was quiet and still. Frylock and Shake were asleep on the floor by the dryer in the kitchen. Needless to say, their electric bill was gonna be sky-high by the time the month ends, and it was only the second of September!

But it was worth it...

"Shake! Frylock! I'm home from school!"

Frylock woke up and groaned as he heard Meatwad's voice enter the front door. He nudged Shake.

"Shake, Shake, we gotta get up.."

Instead of complaining about being woke up, Shake yawned and smiled. "Hey, you were right, that was a much better idea than the pool. I still feel numb."

Frylock giggled like a schoolgirl. "I know, it's only the first day! W-we gotta keep it a secret from Meatwad though."

"Keep what a secret?"

Frylock looked and saw Meatwad. "Oh hey Meatwad! How was-"

Then he saw that his arms around two young girls that were dressed so skimpily that they looked like they came out of the movie 'Mean Girls'.

"Oh, are these your new friends?"

"Uh no, we're his 'girlfriends', loser." The blonde one said.

"Girlfriends?"

"Yeah," The brunette one added. "We saw him shape-shifting in the lunchroom and we thought he was so freakin' cool."

"So we're both dating him now, and he's gonna please us in every way imaginable!"

"Eh, I don't think you're gonna get anywhere with him," Shake said as he got up. "Everytime he sees a porno magazine, he rips it to shreds and calls it a scary monster."

"Was anyone talking to you, Dixie cup?" The blonde one nastily responded.

"Yeah, shut up, fag.." The brunette one flatly said.

"Hey, that's barely an insult to me!" Shake yelled back.

"Aren't they sweet, Frylock?" Meatwad said. "They told me they was gonna bring their toys over and make me play with them."

"And we already got them, sugar-kins!" The blonde said as she kissed him on the cheek, causing Meatwad to blush. "Where's your room?"

"Yeah, we can play Barbies together and dress them in glitter!"

"I'll show you, c'mon ladies!"

After they went into Meatwad's room, Frylock smelled something fishy.

"Something's up with those girls.."

"I'll say," Shake added. "Aren't they kinda old to be playing with Barbie dolls?"

"Yeah, I guess. And I don't really appreciate the way they dress either, especially around Meatwad."

"Ah c'mon, Frylock, you're judging them like they're preps or something! They probably just wanna unload their family issues on their own free therapist. Someone's gotta listen and care, you know."

Frylock held Shake's hand and looked him in the eye. "Shake, man, I love you no matter what...BUT YOU NEVER MAKE ANY ****ING SENSE! EVER!"

Shake chuckled. "Yeah, love you too, kid!"

CRASH!

All of a sudden, a screaming Meatwad came running out.

"The sky is fallling, the sky is falling!"

"Hey, it was only cool when that guy on TV said it!" Shake exclaimed.

"Meatwad, what was that?" Frylock asked.

"Them girls turned into robots and tried to shoot me with their pink cannons and told me they was gonna devour me!"

"...and I don't make any sense, huh?" Shake said to Frylock, bewildered.

The two girly robots stepped into the hallway, showcasing their robot voices mixed with their previous human ones.

"**Meatwaaad, let's plaaay!" **They simultaneously said.

"What the hell?" Frylock was creeped out until he saw they were the same size, not growing in size at all.

"What kinda robots are you?"

"Damn straight!" Shake exclaimed. "They couldn't scare a baby!"

"**Oh yeah?" **They both said.

"**You won't be saying that once we devour your entire town and rule your petty state!**"

"**PREPARE TO FACE OUR FURY!**" The brunette one yelled.

Like a vacuum, the pink cannons on the robots sucked up the entire house. Now all they were standing on was grass.

"No!" Shake cried. "The TV's gone! And so is the dryer!"

"That's IT! No one takes away our house and gets away with it!" Frylock angrily said.

"**Oh really? What will you do? Clog our arteries?**" The blonde one said as she evilly chuckled.

"**Yeah! Too bad we have perfect robot bodies now! We'll be the most popular girls ever! HAHAHAHA!**"

Within a second, Frylock froze the two robots, seemingly ending everything.

"Thank God they gone." Meatwad said, relieved.

"Freezing them ain't gonna do jack!" Shake said.

"I know I know! I just had to shut them up, I was gettin' a headache."

Silence. Then, Frylock shot his lasers at them, turning the girls into ash and melted ice. Only Meatwad and Shake were surprised.

"Well, I guess we're living at Carl's house for a while-"

"NO." Carl said as he shut his door and boarded up his house to the max.

Frylock sighed. "Well, I guess we're going to a homeless shelter."

"Yay! A new home!" Meatwad said. "Can I still go to school, Frylock?"

"Why would he let you?" Shake started. "You brought home killer robot bitches your first day, who's to say you won't bring back someone worse the next day?"

"What's there to lose?" Frylock rhetorically asked. "All they can take is the damn homeless shelter and all the hobos."

"Not unless the hobos become zombies and protect their homestead!" Shake said with spirit. "Quick, someone start the apocalypse!"

~END CREDITS~


End file.
